Imagine 2 people sitting in chairs. When they face away from each other they are both experiencing a heart at war. They are not seeing each other or considering the other at all. Each is faced inward, only contemplating how they have been wronged, judged, and mishandled. When you have a heart at war you only see you and how others are mistreating you.
Realizing you have a heart at war brings another choice. By becoming conscious of your thoughts, you can decide again whether to turn your chair or not.
You are only ever in charge of your OWN chair.
When you turn your chair and choose a heart at peace, you recognize and take responsibility for your emotions and actions. Then you choose to feel love on purpose.
Love feels infinitely better than war.